Musical Chairs, Opposite Shotgun, and the Micro Game

I really should be making my pinhole camera for my photography class tomorrow, but I would much rather talk about myself (who doesn't enjoy cheating on their "good person" diet and indulging in some narcissism from time to time, really?), so here goes another entry.

So I've realized that public transportation in Santiago all boils down to a matter of childhood games, and here's how it goes:

1) The Metro: The Metro, although amazing in terms of the amount of trains running and the efficiency of the trains (although I have to admit, despite being here for 2 1/2 months, I'm still in that BART mentality where if I see a train leaving, I mildly freak the fuck out and get ready to run my ass off to try to make it, only to then realize I here I DON'T have to wait another horrid 16 minutes until the next one comes), is a hot mess in terms of how many people are stuck riding the train together. During the rush hour, which is 8-10 am (which luckily, being the lazy bum that I am, I'm never out the door that early) and 5-7 PM, everyone on the Metro is usually so squished and packed in together so tight like sardines that let's just say that because of this, I've already accidentally gone to second base with about half the people in Santiago. To add to the shenanigans, because there are so many people on the Metro, there is so much body heat floating around that everyone is sweating like crazy on the train. It's basically like the Nelly "Hot in Herre" video, but WAY LESS sexy. Even when it's not rush hour, things are still hectic, and people are as antsy as hell to get seats on board (the amount of seats there are are VERY VERY limited, so you usually end up standing up and holding on to a pole, or to the nearest person by you for that matter). Seats are to Santiaguinos (Santiago residents) as food is to seagulls. Every time there are a bunch of seats open, I can't help but hear in my head, "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" coupled with the image of a mob of people walk-running towards an open seat. Despite the polite reminder from the driver every time you board, "Permite bajar antes de subir" (Let the people on the train get off before you board the train), people are busy pushing and shoving their way through. Thus, the Metro essentially becomes a vicious game of musical chairs. But this time, the loser is not out, but rather, just confined to the mushpot. Only to find out that they are not the only ones in the center of the circle, but rather, there are about a billion other people, and the mushpot is not big enough to hold us all in. Which always makes the 9 metro stops you have until you get to Estación La Católica a Christmas present come early every time. 

2) Taxis: Taxis usually become a common method of transportation around 11 and after, since the Metro has closed by then (which honestly doesn't make sense to me because calling it a night at 3 AM for Chileans is frowned upon as being fome [boring, lame, etc]), and also because us gringos are all too dumb and flojos (lazy) to figure out the bus schedule in parts of town other than our own. Not to mention that it's probably way more safe to take a taxi back than to walk home 5 blocks from where the closest bus stop is to your house at night. So we usually end up taking a taxi to get back home during the weekends. And because the easiest, cheapest, and most efficient way to take a taxi back home is to flag one down on a busy street corner (You can call a type of taxi called a Radio Taxi to come pick you up, but it takes harto tiempo [way too much time] to wait for one, plus the starting rate is more expensive). And although sketch situations with taxi drivers are rare, it still can be kind of a risk because you are just flagging down some random taxi driver that you don't know what their deal is. Because of this potentially sketch endeavor, my friends and I play this unspoken, silent, and tacit game (none of us will probably ever admit to participating in it) of "Opposite Shotgun." Usually back at home, the most desirable seat is the front seat. Well, here, it's the exact opposite: the 3 back seats are the gold nuggets because they are the farthest away from the taxi driver, and thus, the best option of escaping if for some strange reason something shady goes down. It sounds dumb and paranoid, but you've got to be on your toes. I love watching this unofficial game play out because when the taxi pulls up, immediately everyone races to the back, and the person that was too slow for the 3 back seats has this subtly disappointed look on their face that they try their very best to hide. And then after pretending like everything is chill, they begrudgingly hop their way into the front seat. Although, I have to admit, in terms of realistic safety-wise, I can't tell which seat is the best option. This is because while the back seats are furthest from the driver, the front seat actually has a seat belt (the back seats' seat belts are always buried under the seats, and it would take only a renowned archaeologist to dig those babies out). Maybe I'm playing this game wrong. Hmmm.

3) Las Micros: With the buses, you are pretty much always standing, and more often than on the Metro, pretty much always squished no matter what. So the only game you really participate in is Your Life Sucks Major Balls Right Now Because You Have To Deal With Riding The Micro. This game is only available in Santiago and is recommended for people ages 18 and up, sorry kids. Sometimes you won't even be able to get on a micro because the bus driver will simply drive right by the bus stop without hesitation or guilt either because: a) the bus is so full of people that there is literally no more room left on the bus or b) the driver just doesn't feel like stopping at the bus stop. Bastard. 

So that's the general overview of my experiences with public transportation in Santiago. Whoever said life was a game was not kidding. I just wish it involved more sitting, and less sweating.