Bra Nostalgia

So I went to Viña del Mar this weekend, but don´t ask me how the beach was - I didn´t go. I know what you´re thinking: how the fuck can someone go to a place as beautiful as Viña del Mar, and not go to the beach even once?!? I know, but I can promise you, it was an amazingly fun weekend, and I don´t regret it one bit. I ended up going with Cassie, her host brother Chancho and his girlfriend Fona, and her 2 neighbors Lucho and Aníbel (as in Hannibel Lector...what a, badass name). Viña´s about 2 hours away from Santiago, and let me tell you, those 2 hours make a difference. It was so nice and cool there - I actually had to put on some pants and a sweatshirt to, I don´t even know this concept after spending a week and a half in Santiago anymore, ¨keep warm.¨It was strange. We just ended up carreteando the whole weekend (Saturday and Sunday) - I literally didn´t leave the house once. I showed up to Cassie´s house on Saturday, hyper-enthused and ready to go what I thought was ¨the beach,¨dressed in the obligatory ready to swim outfit - bathing suit serving as the bra and underwear, with the tank top and shorts over it. And I didn´t even have my lame ass bathing suit that I had to buy in Santiago (because of the whole lost luggage situation) the week before! Oh, you want to hear this story:

So as you guys know, last week, I was sin maletas in the beginning because American Airlines and Avianca exhibited the mental capacity of a four-year-old in getting my luggage to the correct place. That first weekend, all the EAP-ers went on a weekend retreat to this mini hotel up in Maipu, where there would be swimming, hiking, orientating, and relaxing. Since I had literally no clothes that week, and because each day before the retreat, I kept getting promised that my luggage would come, I held off on buying a swimsuit. When Friday came, I was promised that my luggage would be in Santiago at 6 AM in the morning, and would be delivered to me by noon, about 2 and a half hours before I was supposed to board the bus to Maipu. 12:30 arrives, and I realize, like in past days, my luggage wasn´t going to come. So I book it to downtown Ñuñoa (about a 5-10 minute walk from my house) to go to a place that sold swimsuits. I try on a couple of them, and I see that all the tops are flimsy ass string bikinis, which were so crappy that even with my boobs, I knew there would be trouble in keeping those babies in. So I´m desperately searching for something secure, and the only thing I see is a tacky light blue top that literally has the same exact design of the first bra I ever bought. You know, the 12-year-old trainer bra. Kind of like the tricycle equivalent for lingerie. Girls, you know what I´m talking about. It has that mini-camisole type design, with no padding whatsoever (cold days really sucked back then), and skinny spaghetti straps. It was semi-disgusting, but I was desperate. So I go up and buy this light blue 12-year-old hot mess of a top, and a navy blue bottom, Old Navy style - mix and match, was THE SHIT back then. Hell, it still is. Any store that condones not being able to match your clothes, and in fact, encourages such activity, is my kind of store. And the lady goes, in Spanish of course, ¨You can´t buy that - you have to buy swimsuits in a pair.¨And I am desperately, and gringa-ly, pleading with this saleslady who was not having it, ¨Please, I´m so desperate, just let me buy these." And I can tell from the look on her face that she is thinking ¨They are not paying me enough to deal with this dumb extranjera." The pleading isn´t working, so I finally say, "Fine, I will buy the equivalent of 2 swimsuits, because I really need this swimsuit." All of this exchange is in horrendously broken Spanish of course. And then she looks at me like I´m fucking crazy, but you can´t argue with profit, so she decides to let me go through with this ridiculous transaction. So I buy "2 swimsuits" to get the equivalent of one shitty ass swimsuit, and because of that, I looked like a gross 12-year-old all weekend. It was a sight for sore eyes. Ay mamí is right.

Ok, I´m at an internet cafe, and it´s getting dark, so I should leave now so I don´t get mugged walking home. Oh the beauties of Santiago. I promise I will get to the Viña story next time. Ciao.